Opening Door Exercises
Yesterday’s blog discussed how slamming doors doesn’t solve problems, improve our chances, or give us perspective—it simply puts up another barrier to what is possible in our lives.
When barriers become become our horizons, we seriously limit our opportunities and our world. Once we feel put upon and martyred, we believe there is no way out. And worst of all, we don’t see it as a world of our own creation, so we feel target our anger at someone else—generally, the very people we love.
What’s the solution? Depends on what you want. If you want a big, authentic life with opportunities and choices, here are some things to think about.
1.   Don’t be so fast to generalize a bad experience. A bad experience could be a one-time event. Not every event carries a life-changing lesson.
2.   Accept your responsibility in the choices you make. It’s easier to change the future if you see your part in it.
3.   Stay in control of your decisions. Don’t let other people direct your life, choose your friends, make your decisions for you. Make your own decisions; the consequences will be yours, too.
4.   What happens is not nearly as important as how you react to what happens. How you react determines the real outcome.
Example: Someone cuts you off in traffic.
Reaction one: the guy is a moron, you give him the finger and yell curses. While you are yelling, the light changes, and you cause an accident. Now you have to deal with your anger, possible injury and your damaged car. And the realization that the accident is your fault.
Reaction two: You are irritated, take a few deep breaths, stay in control of your car. You stop as the light changes. No accident.
The more doors we slam, the smaller the space we have to live. With each door we slam, we choose to be less tolerant, less flexible, less creative, less generous, less magnificent. We feel uncomfortable living in a house of slammed doors because we know we are being less than we are capable of.
Maybe it’s time to open some of those doors and let some light and fresh air back in. Take a look in those closed-off rooms. There’s a part of you in there that could use a new look at the world.
